what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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