I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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