did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
