it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize