what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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