i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
