So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
