I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
