Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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