he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I smell like Dick and happiness
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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