I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
