Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
