just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
