I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
