it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
