the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
