I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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