Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
