I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
