We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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