piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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