I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
