he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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