five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Be still, my beating vagina.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
