Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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