Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
