everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
