hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
