covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
