i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.