summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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