i permit you to call me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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