it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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