Where are you?
In a non slutty way
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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