Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize