Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I believe in your delicious
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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