you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
