you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize