Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
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It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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