I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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