she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Who died my cat blue again?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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