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nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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