Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize