oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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