It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
