I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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