i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
