Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
