guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
