I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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