I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
