as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize