He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.