the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.