and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
