Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.