There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.