This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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