i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
