You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
