I wannas sexs uuuuu
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
