kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
