i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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