In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize